tapestries still hang on the wall
eating the light from the choked ragged windows
i look out them and see empty things
and capitalization
seems as pointless as punctuation

the bones of the typewriter
strike the bones of my hands
but the meaning sinks
deep into the profound

or was it buried under sand
for an alien race to find in the future
which never comes

your note blew away on the snow
was pised on by a marsh rat
with turberculoid balls
,my tears fell as hell-spawn piss
in the frost
all lost

I am sort of watching this evangelical infomercial claiming that 2012 is the end of the world and the return of Christ.  This dude is claiming that the Jews have a "modular temple" that they can set up quickly on the Temple-Mount when the time comes.  People of all stripes are worked up about this date.  I wish I could believe that it is all going to be fine and the messiah wil come, or we'll all become enlightened.  Reality will probably be closer to Crowley's prediction of 500 years of dark-ages -this from the original Age of Aquarius hippy.  Humanity has far too much technology and not enough common-sense.  Utopia is possible for the first time ever, but we will choose oblivion. 

Uho, this dude is ranting on the large Hadron accelerator now.  Seems that this thing is going to go boom in 2012...  Why rail on the "monstrous invention" if it's just going to help bring on apocalypse and the return of heaven to Earth?  This shit makes no sense...

In favor of these dooms-day types, mass psychology is a little-understood phenomenon and it is conceivable that we could simply manifest whatever scenario we want on 2012.  If enough people want armageddon then they'll get it, if on the other hand we want to raise our harmonic frequency, we could do that too.  There is no underestimating the power of consensual reality, as an honest look at on's own behavior on a daily basis will prove.  It's very hard to break the mold and the price we pay for being anomalous is high.  Yet, human's will always seek group outlets for their inner absurdities and paradoxes.  Yesterday, walking into Chuck's for work I instantly knew that  S.U. beat Georgetown that day.  It was just a flavor in the air, the taste of victory so different than the usual simmering sexual tension of the bar.  Even physical contact, normally so abhorred by the patrons, seemed to be accepted and even enjoyed.  As I fried up the endless wings, Bohemian Rhapsody came on and had at least half the crowd singing; it was like an opera with a gigantic drunken chorus, very strange what sports can do.

But, Aius!, I cannot lose myself in the crowd being one of the backroom boys and I certainly am not about to have a religious experience in church anytime soon.  The Hermetic path does not admitt these things and I appear to be on it, like it or not.

tapestries hang still on the walls
eating the light of the choked ragged windows
i see only emty things out there
and capitalization
seems
as pointless as punctuation

the bones of the typewriter
strike the bones of my hands
bury the bones down deeper
in the profound- lost forever

your note blew along the snow
was pissed on by a marsh-rat
with tuberculoid balls
a hell spawn's piss fell
as my tears in the frost

all lost

Where does the time go?  I'm almost friggin 30!  This can't be happening...

Time is so very protean, depending on how we spend it it has a varied length.  However, I don't pretend to understand that shit; I just know that when I start playing mtg I usually look up six hours later and say "What the fuck!?!" 

Bitches better give me my money.  I am not cut out for dealing, no one fears me.  It seems that in this life you are either an asshole or you get fucked, or both.  It is asshole time, but my heart is not in it.  When the landlord comes a knocking I'm sure I'll get the taste for revenge.  This town is no place to be on the streets.  I'm all for the peace and love and shit, but sometimes you have to just look out for yourself and the people who are relying on you.  Love is the only hope for humanity, but it is the doom of the individual.  Now if I could just figure out how to kill with compassion...

Todd has apparently spotted Karin downtown, so she must have lied about going to Maryland.  I can't even think about her without feeling disgust.  What the fuck happened?  We had a good thing going, but I got complacent and she fell into her pattern of feeling unloved.  Our relationship has become almost purely physical, yet I'm not really attracted to her.  Actually, the more I think about it, the more I see the same thing among my friends.  Seth and Tara don't even like each other, but that didn't stop him from knocking her up.  Justin is still living with his "ex" and of course they'll end up sleeping together even though she's fat and he want's out.  Ska is hanging out with her ex(s) almost every night, even though she doesn't love him anymore.  Why can't people move on?  My guess is that it's just convenience, although much of that has been lost since women's lib. 

Convenience.  Is this the latest Golden Calf of modernity?  I think so, although it must be said that one person's convenience is another inconvenience.  There's no such thing as free lunch.  Convenience is deceiving because it gives the impression of efficiency, but often this is simply the unconscious impulse towards self-justification.  True efficiency comes about when the unit (be it a relationship, family, city, country, or planet) is composed of individuals willing to sacrifice their own convenience to that of the whole.  Of course, if this happens throughout the system, everything become more convenient.  Still, no matter how hard we try to cooperate for mutual benefit, it will take a very long time for every individual to have the same level of ease as a slave-owner (if ever).  Could we have a planet of three billion billionares?  The technology and the energy is there, but in order for this to happen humanity would need to get a clue.  This may be happening, I don't know, but I think most people still don't believe it's possible and so choose immediate self-interested convenience over the possibility of having utopia.  Indeed, I imagine that those who could do the most to bring about utopia are those who do the least.  It's that tendency towards self-justification again.

How many people walk down the street with their heads held high?  I have trouble finding these upstanding citizens who take pride in their role and their place in time.  Probably this is a result of the war on drugs and the criminalization of urban areas.  People are either afraid of each other, the cops, or both.  There's also been a subtle shift in attitudes since cell-phones; even in relatively remote areas there are always eyes and people can call the cops on you anywhere.  Try pissing by the side of the highway now, your likely to be blown in by some douche-bag with bluetooth.  The road is a conduit for information and its speed had been greatly increased recently. 

Vacuum is as important as substance.  People could do a lot more back in the day when there was ideological and physical space in plenty.  The two are connected, but not always directly.  For example, the freedom of a rainbow gathering out in the woods away from prying eyes can be compared to the freedom experienced in NYC neiborhoods with high levels of solidarity.  Both said gatherings and neiborhoods have been under open attack by the state, though if your not involved in either community you wouldn't know it.  Laws restricting access to public space have been aided by guilt-through-asssociation legislation.  Then there's the massive increases in police budgets and prison spending that Clinton kicked-off.  It's not uncomon for police forces to get upwards of 100 million for a single protest, not to mention the irregular forces involved in clandestine activities inside the country whose budgets are classified.

Then there's the suburbs, where whitey goes to forget the above.  Trouble in paradise?  Foreclosures?  Empty cul-de-sacs?  Personally, I hope the burbs go to hell and people move back to the urban centers so we could have a more European society.  Probably won't happen, but you never know.  There's just too much rascism and fear and now the middle-class is going to have to trench in just to survive.  Nothing like a good economic squeeze to remind the good folks that they need to look out for numero uno and fuck the rest.

 fucking piece of shit.  i hate this website almost as much as i hate aim.  both have been equally useless.  my friends page is still not showing anything, do i not have any friends or something?  i coulda swore i added some, hmmmm.

technology, you could be so cool... give a monkey a laptop and see what happens.  humanity could do so much, but we are too busy following obsolete genetic priorities.  i used to think that internet would revolutionize the planet along with cell-phones and other forms of interconnectivity.  instead the only way to reach out is through stealing wireless, soon to be made illegal (even if the person wants to share).  we could all have (practically) free internet and phones, if not for stupid media conglomerates and their lobbyists.  the powerful would never let this happen in any case, information is far too dangerous.

oooooh, I'm soooo literary and cooool!